4 major problems with being busy

As a coach, I do a lot of my own self development work. I’m out-of-my-mind committed to living a a meaningful life. I want to feel connected to my vision, in-service of others — doing work that I care deeply about.

How do I serve? I help others (especially men) live purposefully and build fulfilling relationships so they’re creating a legacy they’re proud of.

What I’ve learned is that being busy all the time doesn’t work if you want to feel on-fire with purpose and connected to people you care about.

Here’s why:

Busy is unfulfilling

You’re constantly meeting demands from other people. You feel like you’re striving but never arriving.

Busyness is born from, and perpetuates, the story, “I’m not good enough.”

Maybe you’re busy because, deep down, you believe you only deserve love and belonging when you achieve something. So you constantly do things and seek approval from outside sources.

Busy is a distraction from your true self

You never have time to read, paint, meditate, write, go for a walk, or make love. You’re rushing and stressing a lot.

If you’re really busy, you probably don’t even know what makes you happy.

You wouldn’t know what to do if people didn’t give you a steady diet of tasks.

In the short term, busyness makes you feel important, needed.

You need to feel needed on the outside, because you haven’t taken the time to connect with your innate worthiness.

Busy is mediocre

It’s easy to be busy — painfully easy to fill your time with urgent tasks.

If you’re a busy person, you’re probably not reaching your potential.

You’re probably not going for your dreams in any meaningful way. Occasionally you squeeze in a step in the direction of your vision. And it feels great! Then you fall back into your busy work.

If you feel busy and burnt out, how can you make the impact on the world that you deeply want to make?

Busy is an addiction

Your body and brain are probably dependent on elevated levels of cortisol and adrenaline to feel in balance. Your sympathetic nervous system (SMS) is helping you survive the constant going and doing.

Slowing down is painful just like skipping your morning coffee is painful. If you were to quit being busy, you’d experience withdrawal for a while.

Your thinker might tell you you’re a failure. You aren’t achieving anything. You will be driven by the urge to DO things. Your task list and calendar beckon at every moment.

How do I know this?

Because I have been a busy person for most of my life.

And I no longer choose busy.

I choose meaningful work.

I choose coaching inspiring leaders.

I choose journaling.

I choose freedom.

I choose deep breaths.

I choose mindfulness.

I choose long walks outside.

I choose conversations with my family.

I choose reading books in cafes.

I choose writing.

I choose dancing tango.

I choose making love.

I choose volunteering for causes I care about.

I choose music.

I choose joy.

I choose to fill my time with things that fill me up.

Because when I am fulfilled, I will be a better wife, sister, daughter, granddaughter, friend, and coach. I will serve the world as I know I can. My cup will overflow generously.

That’s my vision. That’s what I’m here for.

There are a million ways to become less busy.

The first step is to choose — to decide how you want to live this life.

What do you think?

Are you too busy? Do you constantly wish you had more time for people and moments that matter?

Or do you enjoy being busy?

I would really love to know your experience!

Send me a direct message or comment with your thoughts.