Is it worth spending the resources this year to address lingering issues in your relationship with your significant other?

Building a fulfilling love relationship might be one of the biggest challenges you ever face.

It can also be one of life’s most rewarding pursuits.

When you choose to do the work, whether by engaging in a book like Dr. Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight, talking to a relationship coach or counselor, or having regular honest conversations with your partner, there are huge benefits:

  1. you become a better version of yourself by practicing new skills and qualities (like reliability, humility, and…

“If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” -Dr. Stephen R. Covey

Image for post
Image for post
Photo: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas, Pexels

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey writes about listening in Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood.

He starts by sharing the four levels of listening:

  1. Ignoring the other person or pretending to listen (“sure…uh-huh…yeah….”)

2. Selective listening (when someone is going on and on…and on…and on…)

3. Attentive listening (paying attention to the words being said)

4. Empathetic listening

Let’s talk about the…

Recently my husband and I watched the film, Up in the Air, starring George Clooney as a professional corporate “downsizer.” The movie came out in December 2009, during the aftermath of the Great Recession.

Image for post
Image for post

It hit a tender nerve now as global unemployment rates spike due to COVID-19. The movie captures the pain of being fired — the sudden loss of security and dignity and the anxious uncertainty that follows.

To think of the millions of people experiencing this right now makes my heart cry.

But if you’ve seen the movie, you know it isn’t only about the doom and…

About your potential to live a happy, meaningful life…I have some bad news, and some good news.

THE BAD NEWS: Your brain wasn’t built for happiness. It was built to keep you safe. Your mind evolved with a negativity bias that continuously brings your attention to potential threats to your survival.

Image for post
Image for post
Your brain evolved to keep you safe from threats, not to make you happy. Photo: Pixabay, Pexels


Also, your thoughts are almost impossible to control. Thinking positively will always be an uphill battle, (though there are many ways to practice it.)

More yikes. Good news, please?

THE GOOD NEWS: There are infinite actions you can take to create happiness in your life!


As this…

Jealousy is a natural human emotion that surfaces in most every relationship.

Though painful for both people in a couple, jealousy doesn’t have to be a problem. In fact, the ability to talk openly about jealousy gives you an opportunity to build trust with your significant other.

Instead of avoiding jealousy and wishing it would go away, what if you could lean into it, explore it, and see it as an opportunity to learn something important about your relationship?

According to Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT, Director of The Intimacy Institute, as she’s quoted in The Oprah Magazine, jealousy is rooted…

As a coach, I do a lot of my own self development work. I’m out-of-my-mind committed to living a a meaningful life. I want to feel connected to my vision, in-service of others — doing work that I care deeply about.

How do I serve? I help others (especially men) live purposefully and build fulfilling relationships so they’re creating a legacy they’re proud of.

What I’ve learned is that being busy all the time doesn’t work if you want to feel on-fire with purpose and connected to people you care about.

Image for post
Image for post

Here’s why:

Busy is unfulfilling

You’re constantly meeting demands from other people…

Image for post
Image for post

“I wish there was an “off” button for my thoughts.”

“Sometimes I get lost in thoughts, memories, and regrets, and it brings me down.”

“How do I get out of my mind, so I can feel like I’m really living?”

“How can I feel more secure in my decisions, without procrastinating on moving forward?”

These are just a few things I’ve heard during recent client sessions. Analysis paralysis is a common human challenge that causes stagnation and frustration. In fact, overthinking is scientifically proven to:

  • lower productivity
  • stifle creativity
  • decrease willpower
  • cause unhappiness

Image for post
Image for post

We’ve all heard the news — new year’s resolutions often don’t work.

In fact, I just opened an email from Tony Robbins that says, “80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail by February.”


But there’s still something so attractive about the blank slate of a new year. A new future, a new you. The year is young, and it still feels like anything is possible.

I love this stuff — I’m all about goal-setting, vision-boarding, and self-reflecting. Give me a hot cup of tea and some 95% dark chocolate and I could go all day!

Unfortunately, I tend to be…

Image for post
Image for post

Imagine waking up every day and knowing that you have the power to achieve your biggest dreams.

The truth is, you do have that power.

The question is, are you aware of it?

The awareness of your own power comes from understanding the crucial distinction:

being a victim of life vs. being responsible for your life

Being responsible for your life gives you the power to achieve your goals.

Because in responsibility you’re more powerful than your circumstances.

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey covers responsibility in the very first habit: Be Proactive. …

Image for post
Image for post

Imagine you’re snuggled up warm in your bed on a cold, rainy morning. You’re fast asleep. When suddenly…


It’s your alarm..

You can’t open your eyes.

It can’t be time to get up yet.

You haven’t gotten enough rest!

Last night when you set the thing, you promised yourself that you’d get up and do something important to you — like exercise, journal, meditate, read, pray, or enjoy a relaxed morning and get to work with some time to spare.

But you can easily rationalise 5 more minutes of sleep. …

Elise Dorsett

Relationship Coach. Argentine Tango Dancer. Writing on emotional intelligence, authentic relationships, and visionary living.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store